Funny Jokes and Riddles
Half riddle, half joke, all groan. These funny jokes and riddles are built for laughs first and brains second. Steal a few for your next family dinner.
Funny riddles for kids
Clean, silly, and easy to retell at school. The magician named Ian is a guaranteed groan.
Punny jokes and riddles with answers
Cucumbers in a pickle, coaches chasing quarterbacks. If you love a bad pun, you are home.
Jokes for family dinner and road trips
Short setups, fast punchlines. Fire off five in a row and see who breaks first.
-
1. What do you call a magician who lost his magic?
Show answer
Ian.
-
2. Why do elephants never use computers?
Show answer
They are afraid of the mouse.
-
3. What do you call a bee that cannot make up its mind?
Show answer
A maybe.
-
4. Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
Show answer
Because it is two tired.
-
5. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
Show answer
A pouch potato.
-
6. Why did the smartphone visit the eye doctor?
Show answer
It lost all its contacts.
-
7. Why did the drum go to bed early?
Show answer
It was beat.
-
8. What do you call two birds glued together?
Show answer
Velcrows.
-
9. What do you call a can opener that does not work?
Show answer
A can't opener.
-
10. Why do books never get cold?
Show answer
They have jackets.
-
11. What do you call a snake that builds houses?
Show answer
A boa constructor.
-
12. Why did the calendar look so popular?
Show answer
It had a lot of dates.
-
13. Why do oysters never share their pearls?
Show answer
Because they are shellfish.
-
14. Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
Show answer
They would crack up.
-
15. What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
Show answer
Two is company, three is a cloud.
-
16. What has hundreds of ears but cannot hear a thing?
Show answer
A cornfield.
-
17. Why was the basketball court always wet?
Show answer
The players kept dribbling.
-
18. What do you call a sheep that loves to dance?
Show answer
A baa-llerina.
-
19. Why did the tomato turn red?
Show answer
It saw the salad dressing.
-
20. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Show answer
Wrap music.
-
21. What do you call a cow caught in an earthquake?
Show answer
A milkshake.
-
22. Why are ghosts such terrible liars?
Show answer
Because you can see right through them.
-
23. What did the lemon say when it answered the phone?
Show answer
Yellow?
-
24. What do you call a bagel that can fly?
Show answer
A plain bagel.
-
25. Why did the cucumber call for help?
Show answer
It was in a pickle.
-
26. How does the moon cut his hair?
Show answer
Eclipse it.
-
27. What do you call a dinosaur with a huge vocabulary?
Show answer
A thesaurus.
-
28. Why can you never trust atoms?
Show answer
They make up everything.
-
29. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
Show answer
An investigator.
-
30. What do you call a cow with only two legs?
Show answer
Lean beef.
-
31. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Show answer
It was feeling crummy.
-
32. What is brown and sticky?
Show answer
A stick.
-
33. What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
Show answer
A carrot.
-
34. Why do ducks make great detectives?
Show answer
They always quack the case.
-
35. What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Show answer
Just a stick.
-
36. Why was six afraid of seven?
Show answer
Because seven eight nine.
-
37. What do you call a belt made out of watches?
Show answer
A waist of time.
-
38. What did the triangle say to the circle?
Show answer
You are pointless.
-
39. What did the janitor shout when he jumped out of the closet?
Show answer
Supplies!
-
40. What kind of key can open a banana?
Show answer
A monkey.
-
41. How do you catch a squirrel?
Show answer
Climb a tree and act like a nut.
-
42. What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
Show answer
Dinner is on me.
-
43. What is a computer's favorite snack?
Show answer
Microchips.
-
44. Why did the picture go to jail?
Show answer
It was framed.
-
45. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
Show answer
A labracadabrador.
-
46. Why did the belt get arrested?
Show answer
It held up a pair of pants.
-
47. What kind of button can you never unbutton?
Show answer
A belly button.
-
48. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
Show answer
To get his quarterback.
Your score
FAQ about Funny Jokes and Riddles
Are these jokes and riddles clean?
Completely. Every joke here is family friendly, so you can read them to a first grader or your grandmother without a second thought.
What is the difference between a joke and a riddle?
A riddle wants you to genuinely work out the answer. These lean joke, so the fun sits in the punchline more than the deduction. You still get a beat to guess before the reveal.
How many funny riddles are on this page?
There are 48, each with a tap-to-reveal answer. No hints on this set, because half the joy is being blindsided by the pun.
Kids tearing through these? Our Riddles for Kids page was built for them. And if the animal puns were the favorites, the Animal Riddles collection is full of creatures to guess.