Funny Jokes and Riddles
Hi! I am Ollie. Welcome to Riddle Kingdom!
Every riddle here is also a level in the Kingdom. Solve them on the map, keep your lives, earn stars and raise a landmark with each one. Good luck, and have fun!
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Half riddle, half joke, all groan. These funny jokes and riddles are built for laughs first and brains second. Tap any answer for a one-line note on the pun behind it, then steal a few for your next family dinner.
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Funny riddles for kids
Clean, silly, and easy to retell at school. The magician named Ian is a guaranteed groan.
Punny jokes and riddles with answers
Cucumbers in a pickle, coaches chasing quarterbacks. If you love a bad pun, you are home.
Jokes for family dinner and road trips
Short setups, fast punchlines. Fire off five in a row and see who breaks first.
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1. What do you call a magician who lost his magic?
Show answer
Ian.
Take magic away from magician and the leftover sound is just Ian.
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2. Why do elephants never use computers?
Show answer
They are afraid of the mouse.
A computer mouse shares its name with the animal elephants supposedly fear.
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3. What do you call a bee that cannot make up its mind?
Show answer
A maybe.
Maybe means uncertain, and it also sounds like may-bee, an undecided bee.
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4. Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
Show answer
Because it is two tired.
Two tired sounds like too tired, so the bike keeps drooping over.
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5. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
Show answer
A pouch potato.
Pouch potato swaps couch for pouch, the pocket a kangaroo carries.
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6. Why did the smartphone visit the eye doctor?
Show answer
It lost all its contacts.
Phone contacts are saved names, and contacts are also the lenses eyes need.
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7. Why did the drum go to bed early?
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It was beat.
Beat means both worn out and the sound a drum makes.
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8. What do you call two birds glued together?
Show answer
Velcrows.
Velcrows blends Velcro, the sticky fastener, with crows, the birds.
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9. What do you call a can opener that does not work?
Show answer
A can't opener.
A broken opener cannot open, so can't opener puns on can opener.
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10. Why do books never get cold?
Show answer
They have jackets.
Book jackets are paper covers, but jackets also keep people warm.
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11. What do you call a snake that builds houses?
Show answer
A boa constructor.
Boa constructor puns on boa constrictor, swapping the snake for a builder.
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12. Why did the calendar look so popular?
Show answer
It had a lot of dates.
Calendar dates are days, and dates are also romantic outings.
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13. Why do oysters never share their pearls?
Show answer
Because they are shellfish.
Shellfish sounds like selfish, and oysters happen to be actual shellfish.
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14. Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
Show answer
They would crack up.
Crack up means laugh hard, but eggs would literally crack open.
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15. What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
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Two is company, three is a cloud.
A crowd is a cloud, punning the three's a crowd saying with rain.
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16. What has hundreds of ears but cannot hear a thing?
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A cornfield.
Corn grows in ears, but those ears cannot actually hear.
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17. Why was the basketball court always wet?
Show answer
The players kept dribbling.
Dribbling means bouncing the ball and also drooling or dripping water.
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18. What do you call a sheep that loves to dance?
Show answer
A baa-llerina.
Baa-llerina adds a sheep's baa sound to the word ballerina.
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19. Why did the tomato turn red?
Show answer
It saw the salad dressing.
Salad dressing sounds like getting dressed, so the shy tomato blushes.
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20. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Show answer
Wrap music.
Wrap music sounds like rap music, and mummies are wrapped in bandages.
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21. What do you call a cow caught in an earthquake?
Show answer
A milkshake.
A shaken cow becomes a milkshake, punning shake with the drink.
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22. Why are ghosts such terrible liars?
Show answer
Because you can see right through them.
See right through them means catch a lie and also see through ghosts.
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23. What did the lemon say when it answered the phone?
Show answer
Yellow?
Yellow sounds like hello, and lemons happen to be yellow.
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24. What do you call a bagel that can fly?
Show answer
A plain bagel.
A plain bagel is flavorless, but plain also sounds like plane, which flies.
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25. Why did the cucumber call for help?
Show answer
It was in a pickle.
In a pickle means in trouble, and cucumbers become pickles.
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26. How does the moon cut his hair?
Show answer
Eclipse it.
Eclipse it sounds like he'll clip it, clipping the moon's hair.
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27. What do you call a dinosaur with a huge vocabulary?
Show answer
A thesaurus.
A thesaurus lists many words, and its ending sounds like a dinosaur.
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28. Why can you never trust atoms?
Show answer
They make up everything.
Atoms make up matter, but make up also means to invent lies.
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29. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
Show answer
An investigator.
An alligator in a vest sounds out as an investigator.
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30. What do you call a cow with only two legs?
Show answer
Lean beef.
Lean beef means low fat, and a two legged cow leans over.
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31. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Show answer
It was feeling crummy.
Crummy means feeling unwell and also covered in cookie crumbs.
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32. What is brown and sticky?
Show answer
A stick.
A stick is brown and sticky because sticks are literally sticky by name.
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33. What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
Show answer
A carrot.
Carrot sounds like parrot, and carrots are orange.
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34. Why do ducks make great detectives?
Show answer
They always quack the case.
Quack the case sounds like crack the case, using a duck's quack.
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35. What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Show answer
Just a stick.
A boomerang that never returns is just a plain thrown stick.
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36. Why was six afraid of seven?
Show answer
Because seven eight nine.
Seven eight nine sounds like seven ate nine, so six is next.
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37. What do you call a belt made out of watches?
Show answer
A waist of time.
A waist of time sounds like a waste of time, worn at the waist.
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38. What did the triangle say to the circle?
Show answer
You are pointless.
Pointless means dull and also having no points, unlike a triangle.
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39. What did the janitor shout when he jumped out of the closet?
Show answer
Supplies!
Supplies sounds like surprise when the janitor jumps out.
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40. What kind of key can open a banana?
Show answer
A monkey.
A monkey ends in key, and monkeys love bananas.
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41. How do you catch a squirrel?
Show answer
Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Squirrels gather nuts, and act like a nut also means act silly.
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42. What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
Show answer
Dinner is on me.
Dinner is on me means I will pay and also food sits on a plate.
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43. What is a computer's favorite snack?
Show answer
Microchips.
Microchips are computer parts and also sound like tiny potato chips.
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44. Why did the picture go to jail?
Show answer
It was framed.
Framed means put in a picture frame and also falsely blamed.
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45. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?
Show answer
A labracadabrador.
Labracadabrador blends Labrador the dog with abracadabra the magic word.
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46. Why did the belt get arrested?
Show answer
It held up a pair of pants.
Held up means robbed and also holding pants up as a belt does.
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47. What kind of button can you never unbutton?
Show answer
A belly button.
A belly button cannot unbutton because it is not a real button.
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48. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
Show answer
To get his quarterback.
A quarterback is a football player and also getting a quarter back in change.
Your score
FAQ about Funny Jokes and Riddles
Are these jokes and riddles clean?
Completely. Every joke here is family friendly, so you can read them to a first grader or your grandmother without a second thought.
What is the difference between a joke and a riddle?
A riddle wants you to genuinely work out the answer. These lean joke, so the fun sits in the punchline more than the deduction. You still get a beat to guess before the reveal.
What is a pun?
A pun is a joke that plays on a word with two meanings, or on two words that sound alike. Take the classic line about why a bicycle cannot stand up on its own: because it is two tired. Two tired sounds exactly like too tired.
If these gave you a chuckle, keep the laughs rolling with our collection of groan-worthy dad joke riddles, then put your wits to the test with a round of visual rebus puzzles you can solve online.