Dad Riddles
Dad riddles are where dad jokes and funny riddles collide, and nobody walks away without groaning. Every card carries an eye-roll rating from 1 to 5, so you know exactly how much pain you're revealing. Tap an answer, roll your eyes, repeat.
Funny dad riddles with answers
The classics live here: fake noodles, award-winning scarecrows, noses that stop at eleven inches. Each answer carries its own eye-roll rating.
Dad jokes for kids as multiple choice
Four punchlines, one groan. Kids love picking the wrong answer on purpose just to hear the alternatives.
Emoji and type-in dad riddles
Text-ready emoji rebuses and type-your-answer rounds close out the set, perfect for sending to the family chat.
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1. What do you call a fake noodle?
Show answer
An impasta. Eye-roll rating: 5 out of 5.
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2. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Show answer
He was outstanding in his field. Eye-roll rating: 5 out of 5.
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3. What has ears but cannot hear a single dad joke?
Show answer
A cornfield. Eye-roll rating: 3 out of 5.
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4. Why can't your nose be twelve inches long?
Show answer
Because then it would be a foot. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Show answer
Nacho cheese. Eye-roll rating: 5 out of 5.
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6. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Show answer
Sneakers. Eye-roll rating: 3 out of 5.
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7. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
Show answer
In case he got a hole in one. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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8. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Show answer
Nothing. It just waved. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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9. What time did the man go to the dentist?
Show answer
Tooth hurty. Eye-roll rating: 5 out of 5.
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10. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Show answer
A fsh. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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11. Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Show answer
They'd crack each other up. Eye-roll rating: 3 out of 5.
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12. What did one wall say to the other wall?
Show answer
I'll meet you at the corner. Eye-roll rating: 3 out of 5.
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13. Why did the coffee file a police report?
Show answer
It got mugged. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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14. What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
Show answer
A can't opener. Eye-roll rating: 5 out of 5.
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15. What has four wheels and flies?
Need a hint?
The flies are the buzzing kind.
Show answer
A garbage truck. Eye-roll rating: 3 out of 5.
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16. What's brown and sticky?
Show answer
A stick. Eye-roll rating: 5 out of 5.
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17. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Show answer
It was two tired. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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18. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Show answer
Ground beef. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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19. What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Need a hint?
Say it out loud, slowly.
Show answer
Bison. Eye-roll rating: 5 out of 5.
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20. What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
Show answer
A labracadabrador. Eye-roll rating: 5 out of 5.
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21. What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
Need a hint?
It sounds like a birthday party word.
Show answer
Supplies! Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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22. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Show answer
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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23. How do you make a tissue dance?
Show answer
Put a little boogie in it. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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24. Why don't crabs ever share their snacks?
Show answer
Because they're shellfish. Eye-roll rating: 3 out of 5.
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25. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Show answer
A gummy bear. Eye-roll rating: 3 out of 5.
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26. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
Show answer
A carrot. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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27. What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
Show answer
A satisfactory. Eye-roll rating: 5 out of 5.
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28. Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
Show answer
All the fans left. Eye-roll rating: 4 out of 5.
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29. Classic dad setup: what do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
He just bobs there. Cliff is the guy stuck on the mountain.
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30. What do you call a man lying on your doormat?
A doormat is a mat, so he's Matt. Doug is the one in the hole.
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31. A dad says: I used to hate my beard, but then it...
It grew on me. Both ways. That's the whole joke.
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32. What do you call a painting hanging in a dad's garage?
A picture on the wall is Art. Every dad knows Art.
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33. Merriam-Webster officially added the term dad joke to the dictionary in 2019.
True. Dad jokes became dictionary official in September 2019. Dads everywhere felt seen.
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34. Groaning loudly at a dad joke makes the dad stop telling them.
False. Groans are dad fuel. Science has not found a cure.
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35. The answer to the riddle What's brown and sticky is glue.
False. It's a stick. Sticky, as in stick-like. We're so sorry.
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36. 🕳️ + 1️⃣
Need a hint?
Think golf.
Show answer
Hole in one (hole + one). The reason dads pack extra pants for golf.
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37. 🌽 + 🌭
Need a hint?
A sausage on a stick, dipped in cornmeal batter and fried.
Show answer
Corn dog (corn + dog). Dad grills a whole batch every summer.
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38. 🕯️ + 💡
Need a hint?
The soft glow at a fancy dinner.
Show answer
Candlelight (candle + light). Dad calls it mood lighting.
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39. What kind of music do dads listen to while grilling?
Show answer
Pop music
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40. What washes up on very tiny beaches?
Show answer
Microwaves
Your score
FAQ about Dad Riddles
Are dad riddles appropriate for kids?
Completely. Every riddle here is clean and family friendly, and the humor is exactly the kind kids repeat at dinner for a week straight.
What is the eye-roll rating?
Each answer scores its own groan factor from 1 to 5. A rating of 5 means the pun is so bad you will need a quiet moment before moving on.
When do dad riddles work best?
Road trips, barbecues, lunchbox notes, and any pause in conversation a dad feels obligated to fill. They also make painless icebreakers for class or the office.
If the groans in the room demand an encore, keep going with Funny Riddles and Jokes for Kids, or bring the pain to Monday standup with Riddles for Work.