Dirty Riddles for Adults
Fair warning: these dirty riddles are for adults, and every single one is a trap. Each question sounds outrageous, but the answer is completely innocent, which is the whole joke. Share these dirty minded riddles and freaky riddles with friends and see who blushes first.
Dirty minded riddles with innocent answers
The long opening run is pure misdirection. A submarine, a toothbrush, a tent: the more scandalous the question sounds, the more ordinary the answer turns out to be.
Funny dirty riddles in quiz form
Toward the end the format shifts to multiple choice and type-in questions, so you commit to an answer before the innocent punchline lands.
One honest history question
The final card is a true or false about where this whole innuendo genre came from. It is older than you think.
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1. I'm long, I'm hard, and I'm full of seamen. What am I?
Need a hint?
It travels under the sea.
Show answer
A submarine.
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2. I fit snugly between two chests, I slide into a slot, and I click when I'm satisfied. What am I?
Need a hint?
You use it every time you drive.
Show answer
A seatbelt.
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3. I'm at least six inches long, I go in your mouth twice a day, and I'm more fun when I vibrate. What am I?
Need a hint?
Your dentist insists on it.
Show answer
An electric toothbrush.
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4. I go in hard, I come out soft, and you love to blow me. What am I?
Need a hint?
You'll find me stuck under desks.
Show answer
Chewing gum.
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5. I'm hairy on the outside, wet on the inside, and full of milk. What am I?
Need a hint?
I grow on tropical trees.
Show answer
A coconut.
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6. Over a thousand people went down on me on my very first trip. What am I?
Need a hint?
There was a very famous movie about me.
Show answer
The Titanic.
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7. You put your fingers in my holes, swing me back, and send me down the lane. What am I?
Need a hint?
Strike!
Show answer
A bowling ball.
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8. I'm spread before I'm eaten, and people love licking my nuts. What am I?
Need a hint?
I pair well with jelly.
Show answer
Peanut butter.
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9. I'm gorgeous when natural, but I get wild and scratchy if nobody trims me. What am I?
Need a hint?
Sunday morning chore.
Show answer
A lawn.
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10. You slide your long pole inside me and stake me down before you can climb in. What am I?
Need a hint?
Campers do this every trip.
Show answer
A tent.
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11. Every man has one. Some are long, some are short. The pope doesn't use his, and a man traditionally gives his to his wife. What is it?
Need a hint?
Think paperwork, not anatomy.
Show answer
A last name.
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12. I go in dry, I come out wet, and the longer I stay in, the stronger my performance. What am I?
Need a hint?
Best enjoyed hot, with a biscuit.
Show answer
A tea bag.
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13. What does a dog do that you can step into?
Need a hint?
Dogs do it when they're hot. You do it every morning.
Show answer
Pants.
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14. I come in all sizes, I drip when things heat up, and blowing me brings sweet relief. What am I?
Need a hint?
It's right on your face.
Show answer
A nose.
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15. People ride me up and down all day long, sometimes in groups of ten. What am I?
Need a hint?
Press my buttons and I'll take you anywhere. Well, up or down.
Show answer
An elevator.
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16. I'm about six inches long, I have nuts, and I can make a girl gain weight. What am I?
Need a hint?
Check the vending machine.
Show answer
A candy bar.
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17. I assist with erections all over the city, and I've been known to swing a giant ball. What am I?
Need a hint?
Look at any construction site.
Show answer
A crane.
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18. I'm six inches long, two and a half inches wide, and I drive people absolutely wild. What am I?
Need a hint?
Benjamin Franklin is involved.
Show answer
A hundred dollar bill.
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19. What starts with 'f', ends with 'u-c-k', and shows up when things get too hot?
Need a hint?
Sirens and ladders.
Show answer
A firetruck.
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20. I'm stiff, I have a nice head, and carpenters bang me all day. What am I?
Need a hint?
Hit me right on the head.
Show answer
A nail.
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21. Every woman has one, it starts with 'v', and she can use it to get exactly what she wants. What is it?
Need a hint?
You're probably using yours to read this out loud.
Show answer
Her voice.
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22. Flip my switch and I get turned on right in front of everyone. What am I?
Need a hint?
I brighten up the room.
Show answer
A lamp.
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23. The best way to get me off is with your fingers, though some people use their teeth. You'll find me clinging to new purchases. What am I?
Need a hint?
Gift givers race to remove me.
Show answer
A price sticker.
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24. You get me nice and hot before you slip in, and you always come out dripping. What am I?
Need a hint?
Add bubbles for the full experience.
Show answer
A bath.
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25. I live in men's pants, my contents get blown on dates, and I'm always being pulled out at the worst moment. What am I?
Need a hint?
Usually in the back pocket.
Show answer
A wallet.
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26. You pull me out, check how wet I am, then push me right back in. What am I?
Need a hint?
Pop the hood.
Show answer
A dipstick.
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27. I'm white and sticky, and dentists say it's better to spit me out than swallow me. What am I?
Need a hint?
Minty fresh.
Show answer
Toothpaste.
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28. I'm firm and curved, and you have to undress me before you can enjoy me. What am I?
Need a hint?
Monkeys undress me too.
Show answer
A banana.
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29. What four-letter word ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse?
Intercourse literally means communication between people. Nice try, though.
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30. What gets longer when pulled and only works properly when it's jerked hard?
That starter cord needs one good firm jerk or the mower stays silent.
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31. What gets harder the longer you leave it out?
A bagel left on the counter turns into a doorstop by morning.
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32. I get gripped by warm hands first thing in the morning and drained before noon. What am I?
The morning coffee never survives long.
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33. A finger slides into me, you wiggle it a bit, and I fit snug when things get serious. What am I?
Serious commitment, snug fit. It's a wedding ring.
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34. It gets wetter the deeper you go. What is it?
Dive deeper and there's only more water. It's the ocean.
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35. What do you call someone who's great with their hands and nails it on every job?
Carpenters nail things for a living. Get your mind out of the gutter.
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36. What goes up and down all night without ever moving from its spot?
The stairs go up and down, yet they never move an inch.
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37. I have a long neck, people grab me by it, tilt me back, and press their lips against mine. What am I?
Show answer
A bottle
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38. You slip me on when things are about to get wet and messy, and I hug every single finger. What am I?
Show answer
A rubber glove
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39. Men spend all autumn blowing me in the yard while the neighbors watch. What am I?
Show answer
A leaf blower
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40. Innuendo riddles with innocent answers were a popular parlor game long before the internet, appearing in printed riddle books over a century ago.
True. Victorian parlor books loved a riddle that made you blush and then made you feel silly for blushing.
Your score
FAQ about Dirty Riddles for Adults
Are these dirty riddles actually explicit?
No. This is the classic parlor genre where the question sounds naughty and the answer is completely clean, like a seatbelt or a bowling ball. The blush is the joke. We keep everything PG-13.
Can I use these at a party or bachelorette night?
That is exactly where they shine. Read the question aloud, let everyone squirm through a guess, then reveal the innocent answer. The multiple choice ones near the end work well as a team game.
How hard are these riddles to solve?
The wordplay itself is easy. The hard part is fighting the misdirection, because your brain leaps to the wrong answer on purpose. Solvers who stay literal tend to win.
Enjoyed getting fooled 40 times in a row? Keep the grown-up game night rolling with our Riddles for Work, or lean seasonal with Halloween Riddles for Adults.